And the Winner Is... Wii Sports!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Usually, I care very little about the Academy Awards, unless there are Lord of the Rings movies nominated or something like that. For one thing, I don't see a lot of the movies that are nominated (especially true this year, although it sounds like a lot of other people didn't see them either), and more significantly, the self-importance of some of the people I see up there drives me crazy. I don't think that everyone in Hollywood is out of touch with reality, but I do think that when you get enough people in one room that are, it's a little too much. On a more practical level, I also get a little bored listening to long lists of thank-yous to people of whom I've never heard and will never meet.

That said, I do watch the Oscars sometimes for entertainment value (there are a few intentionally funny moments, and many more unintentionally funny moments). Here are a few highlights from tonight I picked out as we went along:

• Jon Stewart is making fun of Hollywood in his opening monologue, and all of the stars in the first three rows are trying to figure out if he is making fun of them and whether they should laugh (this is how you find out who thinks they are a big deal).
• Someone is winning an Oscar for an Elizabeth movie. This is like my son doing the same trick over-and-over because he knows you'll laugh every time, or like Mariah Carey making the same album over and over and continuing to win awards.
• They just played something sounding very dramatic and important before introducing George Clooney. He introduced (and they are now showing) something called "80 Years at the Oscars," which scares me enough on its own given how long a single show can be, and now that Celine Dion song is on. I now know how the enemy can get me to break if I'm ever captured in war.
• Some French guy and English woman won for costume design. The French guy spoke for about 10 seconds in broken English, and the woman made the mistake of saying that she had "a lot of people to thank," and she got the music about 20 seconds in. I didn't used to love French movies, but now I do.
• Amy Adams is singing now. She grew up in the LDS church until some point in her childhood, apparently, but is no longer practicing. Oh well - I guess we'll have to wait for Jon Heder to make the first official active Mormon appearance at the Academy Awards. They might have to create a new category before that happens.
• The Golden Compass just won the visual effects award over Transformers. I guess they did make a great talking polar bear, but didn't Coke already do that a long time ago?
  
• I love the awards you don't even understand, let a long who the people involved are, like "art direction." One of the winners looks like someone did art direction on her.
  
• Some "Bee Movie"-related thing just came on. Sort of funny, but when are they going to stop promoting this movie? This is like the Ron Paul presidential campaign.
• Kate Blanchett seriously played Bob Dylan? I thought that was a joke.
• Whoever just beat Kate Blanchett for Best Supporting Actress said she was giving her Oscar to someone. I wonder if she really meant it. I doubt it. I'm getting a little bored at this point, but they keep throwing out the teaser that Mylie Cyrus is going to come on... with that sort of hook, how can I turn away?
• Apparently, Kodak won some sort of film award. Why are they still using film to make movies?
• People keep making jokes about Jack Nicholson and showing him in the front row. When he dies, I wonder if they will preserve him and put him in a display case down front like they did with all the Communist Hall-of-Famers like Lenin, Mao, Kim, and Ho? When the Oscars aren't going on, they could wheel him over to the Staples Center.
• There are dancing construction workers on stage. I'm going to go do the dishes.
• Bourne Ultimatum just won for Sound Editing. Nice of them to throw a little bone to one of the best movies I've seen in quite a while.
  
• Sound Mixing is up. Ummm... didn't we just do this award? The Bourne Ultimatum won. Didn't see that coming.
• They just showed Halle Berry crying when she won in 2002. If people are good enough to win, how do you know if they are really crying?
• Some French girl just won Best Actress. Short speech? Yep. I'm telling you, the French are growing on me. I knew I liked Paris for more than just the bread.
• Just had some Wii product placement, following onto some Apple product placement earlier. I guess this is the place for the latest tech products. They didn't use to do this, did they? I don't remember the Clapper ever being on here.
• Now Jack Nicholson is presenting. I'm starting to think that even in life he's a bit like an aging, wacky Communist dictator.
• Enchanted has three songs in for best song, and none of them won. It's like the NBA lottery last year, when the Celtics and Grizzlies tanked at the end of the year on purpose and didn't win anyway. The two people who did went for best song just talked, and they cut the girl off right when she was about to speak. You could read her lips, and then they tried to stop the music, but she was already walking off in embarrassment, so they just started the music back up again. Rude, and bad sound editing. Or is it sound mixing?
• Wow - after they break, they brought the girl back on and let her say her piece. Now she gets more attention than she would have otherwise, so it worked out for her, and there was no way they were going to hit her with the music a third time. I guess they weren't rude, just a little trigger-happy. I wonder how long they would have let her go the second time if she had wanted to push it?
• The one part of the show I do appreciate is up - the people who have passed away in the last year. I realize that could be taken the wrong way, but I mean that sincerely.
• They have military people in Iraq presenting an award - I have to admit this is a great idea. The first one was named Joseph Smith, by the way. I do worry, though, that this will lead someone to say something political. Ah... here it is. Gay rights. At least it wasn't a "Shame on you, Mr. Bush."
  
• OK, here we go - I think Michael Moore is up for an award. We have a shot at a "Shame on you, Mr. Bush." Nope - he didn't win - but we something about Iraq won, so here we go. Yep... told us to turn away from the dark side. Honestly, though, I'd rather hear something political from a guy who makes documentaries than someone who makes action movies or something like that.
• Best Actor Award... Tommy Lee Jones made a movie this year? Johnny Depp flew back to America?
• We were thinking earlier that this was going by quickly and would end by 9:00. It's almost 10:00.

Speaking of movies and war (and on a more serious note), last night we watched Rescue Dawn, inspired by the true story of an American prisoner in Vietnam (well, Laos actually). It turns out that it isn't entirely historically accurate, since they portrayed one guy who was apparently a good guy as a bit of a loose cannon. Still, accepting it as quasi-non-fiction, I found it to be pretty moving. I get wrapped up in my life a bit sometimes and forget that there are people out there right now still going through the same sort of thing. It's hard not to be in awe of those people and incredibly grateful. I thought the same thing the other day as I watched footage of a dad heading off to Iraq and saying goodbye to his little girl - something I can't begin to imagine. I'm not sure if it's what they intended, but I'm glad the Academy Awards people did throw in the military thing to put a little bit of perspective on who really deserves our honor and praise.